You sick phuck! Never pull this shit up at Sommerset or we will break your phucken ass, son!

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Police in Troy are searching for a group who dined and dashed at a birthday party for a 1-year-old at Chuck E. Cheese.

A man called and made a reservation for Wednesday's party for 15 guests at the restaurant at 740 John R, near the Oakland Mall.

The hostess gave a bill to the group, but was told "the person who is paying has not arrived yet." While the hostess went into a back room for a few minutes, the party left without...

Nicky, pally, I don't like to shit in public washrooms and only do so when absolutely necessary (like when the log is pokin' out and my anus is fully phucken dialated :an_light:). Got caught short today and hadda use washroom at a Tim Horton's here in Hammah Town and, PHUCK ME, that place was a germ circus! I swear there were shit, piss and cum stains all over, and all around, the phucken toilet. Jesus Christ, Nickay!

I hadda think fast and line the seat with toilet paper (phuckers are too cheap to provide seat liners) and managed to squat...

Ladies, it's time to open the books and come clean with us men. We have questions and it is high time you provide some answers.

1. When you take a shit, does it smell really really bad like a dude's or is it subdued in intensity? I'm sure it does not smell good but I am curious as to the degree of stench. Also, is it runny or log like? How does a lady shit?

2. Why do you wear tight fitting pants that reveal camel toe, cracks, et al but act all nervous when you see me checking you...

PARIS ? Masked youths clashed with police and set fires in cities across France on Tuesday as protests against a proposed hike in the retirement age took an increasingly radical turn. Hundreds of flights were canceled, long lines formed at gas stations and train service in many regions was cut in half.

President Nicolas Sarkozy pledged to crack down on "troublemakers" and guarantee public order, raising the possibility of more confrontations with young rioters after a week of disruptive but largely nonviolent demonstrations.

Sarkozy also vowed to ensure that fuel was available to everyone. Some 4,000 gas stations were out of gas...

Minding my own business at grocery and old lady pantsed me and started lunging toward my kok and I just instinctively push her away. She lunged back at me, right at my phucken groin, Hanky, and I grabbed this bottle of Fanta and laid her out -- stone fucken cold. Grocery store manager, fat lil phuck, runs over and starts screaming about how I attacked his mother. Lil porker tells me he will call cops and I explained she was tryna blow me and wouldn't take no for an answer so I hadda settle her down. Guy gets real pissed...

Is this Manhattan mosque (jihad training center) a modern day version of the famed Trojan horse? One that is being funded by the taxpayer? You know, these Muslims truly must think Americans are stupid, but can you blame them?

First they blow up our financial epi-centre, along with a part of our Pentagon.

Then they commit mass murder at a Fort in Texas (an inside job).

Now -- oh boy -- and NOW they obtain a permit to build a center near the very site they initially attacked. This is likely a modern day version of the Trojan horse!!!! ROTFLMFAO!...

TOPEKA, KS, Feb. 28 /PR Newswire -- FirstCall/ -- True Lion Sports, Inc. (NYSE: TLS) today announced that it is in escrow for the purchase of a $58,000,216 development property in Spanish Harlem.

"The succesful completion of this purchase will facilitate our expansion plans and allow us to further penetrate the key northeastern market," said Mr. Buz Tah, True Lion Sports, Inc.'s President. The company will issue further updates in the near future and will hold a webcast on Monday, March 1 at 9:00 a.m, prior to the start of the trading day. Investors can access the webcast by...

On average, Americans waste $1472 a year on toilet paper. That money could instead be used to take shots at big dogs in March Madness. There is no need for toilet paper post dump. Ever notice how sometimes you pinch one off, wipe and the paper is clean? Wouldn't it be great if that scenario were the norm and not the once in a blue moon exception? "But, Dr. Buzzy, how can I consistently take a crap whilst preserving a clean azz and fresh undies?" you ask.

[B][I]You must awaken your nerve endings and muscles in and around your anus[/I][/B]. Do...

Dress appropriately. Wear your finest gambling hat and trenchcoat. Be sure to apply copious amounts of your chosen fragrance to mitigate the oft times unpleasant smells on the bus.

While at the bus stop, keep your eyes on the ground as there tends to be many loonies and toonies, even bills, at stops. Folks are always digging into their pockets for tickets or change in this location and inevitably lose cash. About 20% of the time, I find a toonie and sometimes a fiver.

The bus arrives. Be sure you are the first to board. Others must wait for you...

Guys, I decided a couple days ago or so to take a yuletide oath of celibacy. This is appropriate so as to allow reflection on what really matters at this time of year. Well, I have found it especially difficult and have been rubbing myself, jerking, jacking, etc., but have resisted the urge to climax. I keep taking myself to the point just before eruption and then back off. I am a bit nervous as to where this will lead (blue balls?) and for how long I can keep this up before giving in but I cannot break my vow...